


let me be it

by bxnelight



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Small Towns, alec and magnus are married with kids, alec is of course aline's best friend, aline's parents are shitty parents oops, helen has three months to convince aline to stay in the town
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 13:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19975201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bxnelight/pseuds/bxnelight
Summary: helen moves to a small town, where she opens a bakery and starts talking via little handwritten notes, gifts of cookies and flowers to the florist across the street. she finds out that she has to make the most out of the next three months before this constant in her daily routine comes to an end."But I don’t have anything or anyone.” Aline paused, turning to look at Helen. “A reason to stay."bakery/flower shop au with a shit ton of angst for no damn reason





	let me be it

**Author's Note:**

> i dedicate this work to jas, abi, lara, rudy, miri, josie, soph, lox, jc, anique, and everyone else who was there for me throughout the whole ordeal in my personal life. your support means so damn much to me, i love you and i'm grateful af to have you all. i hope you like it!
> 
> this fic is part of the SH WLW bingo, by @shwlwficlibrary on twitter. i'm part of team blue, together with rudy (humansunshine on ao3/harryshumsbitch on twitter) and kristen (supersapphics on ao3/super_sapphics on twitter), and the prompts fulfilled here are "bakery au" and also "flower shop au.
> 
> i hope you like it and if you do, please yell at me on twitter @bxnelight!!
> 
> this work is unbeta-ed and all mistakes are my own.

The bells lining the top of the door chimed, and along with it the high pitched yells of children. 

“Aunt Aline!” Naf and Ayu called out in unison, and Aline set down her gardening shears and opened her arms to receive two tight hugs. 

“There’s chocolate on the back of your shirt now, congrats.” Alec stood with his arms crossed, smiling softly at the scene in front of him. Upon hearing their fathers’ words, Naf and Ayu retracted their hands from the hug, hiding them behind their backs and smiling mischievously up at their aunt. 

“And it’s your fault, Magnus will never let them run around with chocolate all over their grabby hands.” Aline watched as the children ran from corner to corner in her shop, looking at the new flowers that freshly came in that morning. With a sigh, Alec held up a bag in his hand.

“Got you these, but since you decided to insult my-” The bag was snatched right out of his hand, cutting off his words. Aline opened the bag eagerly, already smelling the incredible wafts of coffee and pastry coming from it. She took the cinnamon roll out and bit into it.

“I’m gonna marry this baker.” She said, licking her fingers and taking the coffee out of the bag. 

“You’re welcome,” Alec watched her in fond annoyance, wondering which barn his best friend was raised in. “These are from that new bakery across the street. The one that opened today.” 

“Oh? I heard the owner is from out of town.”

“She is from out of town. Just moved here, and she’s really pretty. And that’s coming from a married gay man.” Alec smirked at Aline, before running off to catch the flower vase that his son managed to tip off the ledge. 

\-------------

Helen Blackthorn arrived at the bakery just as the sun began to rise the next morning. The walk there was cold and humid and she wanted nothing more than to hide out next to the toasty warm ovens. A small, flash of red caught her eye. There in the basket of the decorative vintage bicycle at the shop front, was a small bouquet of roses and lavender, wrapped in burlap and tied off with a twine. There was a rolled up piece of paper attached to it. Helen picked up the bouquet and took in the fragrance of the fresh flowers, picking open the paper roll to read the note in it.

“To the baker responsible for those wonderful cinnamon rolls, 

I haven’t had such an amazing treat in a long time. Those rolls with the latte was the best thing I’ve ever tried. Welcome to the town and thank you for bringing along that blessing of your baking skills. 

Love, the florist across the street (Aline)”

Helen tries to recall every customer that came by yesterday, searching her mind for an Aline-looking person who bought cinnamon rolls and a latte. She put the flowers in an emptied glass bottle and set it right at the corner of her workspace, looking up at it and grinning to herself whilst working away at that day’s baked goods. 

By noon, two kids crashed into the store, running straight to the display racks where the croissants and other pastries were still warm. Two men walked in hand in hand behind them, chatting softly but still keeping a watchful eye on the kids. Helen’s heart suddenly felt so full in her chest. Back where she moved from, she would never have felt safe dating a girl even in secret, much less be as comfortably out in public as this family is. She gave the couple a warm smile, and stopped fussing with the espresso machine to greet her customers. 

“Those two are your children?” She asked, watching as the kids worked together to put a few cheese tarts onto their tray. 

“Yes, Ayu and Nafiz. Six and seven respectively.”

“Those names are so unique, what language are they in?”

“Magnus is half-Indonesian. We decided to give them Indonesian names that meant a lot to us.” The taller man said, his eyes catching his partner’s and they shared a soft smile.

Helen took their coffee orders, and continued chatting with them as she put one of the coffee cups in a to-go bag as they wanted. As she did, Ayu came to the counter with a tray full of cookies, tarts and bread. Nafiz stood behind her with his own tray, with two cinnamon rolls sitting atop it. 

“Papa can we get these please?” Ayu asked Magnus, with puppy eyes. “And these for Aunty Aline?” Nafiz added, presenting his tray to his father. 

Helen startled at the name, wondering if it was the same Aline that gave her that bouquet. 

Magnus stooped down and with a cheeky grin, he paid for the treats and gleefully handed it to his children, telling them to destroy the evidence before their other father found out. 

“So, Magnus, right?” Helen said, handed the change over to him. “That Aunty Aline your kids were talking about? That’s the florist from across the street, right?”

“Yes. She’s Alec’s best friend,” Magnus paused, “My husband, Alec. Have you and Aline met?” 

“Not really, but she did leave me some nice words about my cinnamon rolls.” Helen had to look down and busy herself with the cash register to hide the blush growing on her cheeks. “Are you on your way to her flower shop?” 

“Yeah, wanna bring her lunch.” Magnus raises the brown paper bag with the two cinnamon rolls and latte in his hand. 

Lunch? That’s hardly enough for lunch. 

“Wait!” Helen calls out to them just as Magnus turned around to leave with his family. She quickly scribbled something on a paper napkin, and grabbed a chicken pie fresh from the rack. She takes the bag out of Magnus’ hand and carefully puts the pie and napkin into it. Alec and Magnus smirked knowingly, before thanking her and walking out with their kids in tow.

\------------------

It became almost routine. Ever since that first messily scrawled note exchange, Helen came to expect a fresh bouquet of flowers sitting in the bicycle basket every morning. By noon, Ayu and Nafiz will arrive with their fathers, picking up a brown bag of warm, baked goods set aside just for Aline. Every bouquet of flowers came with it handwritten note, some days telling Helen what each flower signified, other days complimenting the pastry from the day before. Aline would grin giddily as she tears open every brown bag, picking up the napkin first and reading about Helen’s day, perhaps new ideas for different breads or even just a really bad attempt at a cookie pun. 

Soon enough, there would be a garland of dried flowers hanging from the door of the bakery, and a stack of napkins with little notes on them on the counter of the flower shop. Aline would always have tried new items on the menu before they were sold on the racks, and would always give her totally unbiased, raving review on them. As much as they would like to meet, there was an undeniable thrill of passing notes to each other like middle schoolers. 

Helen didn’t realise just how used to seeing a bouquet of flowers in that basket every morning until one day she arrived at the bakery to see an empty basket. There weren’t any flowers or any notes in sight. Somehow, this faceless girl had etched her way into her daily routine, and not receiving that little gift from her that morning felt like a day that didn’t start right. 

Noon came, and the familiar sounds of the Lightwood-Banes making their way into the bakery can be heard. The question hung at the tip of Helen’s tongue, but it wasn’t until Alec paused when she handed him the brown paper bag did Helen finally ask it.

“She has to handle some personal matters, she will be back soon.” That was all that Alec told her before leaving without the extra bag of baked treats. 

There were no flowers in the basket the next day either. Or the day after. On the fourth day, Helen once again saw an empty basket, and with a heart full of hesitance and worry, she runs into the bakery, grabbing a few cakes before heading out and making her way towards the sprawling florals of the shop front across the street. 

The lights were on, and the bells along the door chimed as she made her way in. The shop smelled like every single note from the past few weeks all in one place. There in the glass vases, in little pockets everywhere, were the flowers Helen recognised from Aline’s bouquets. The roll of burlap that wrapped up every one of those gifts and the stack of napkins she could recognise as those from her bakery. 

“Helen?” A voice came from the back of the shop.

“Magnus? Why…”

“Aline is still not back yet from settling her personal matters, so I’m manning the shop in her absence.” Magnus said, untying the apron from around his waist. 

The worry only grew in Helen’s gut. Was Aline sick? Was she okay? 

“Could you do me a favour please, Magnus?” Aline took a scrap piece of paper, writing something on it before handing it to Magnus. “Please convey this to Aline if you can, and here’s my number, if she wants to she can text me.”

Magnus receives that piece of paper, the corner of his mouth raising into his cheek as he reads the message Helen left. 

\---------------

Five days passed without any new flowers, without anyone collecting their specially prepared bag of goodies, and without any new texts from anyone she didn’t already frequently text. At this point, Helen had to admit to herself that she was missing Aline’s daily little notes with her a bit too much. As much as she didn’t want to, it seemed like she had already let this sweet florist whom she has never met take a place in her heart. And as much as she tried not to, she was worrying about her with everyday that went by without any news from her. 

Somehow, Helen found herself at the entrance of the local bar that night. There was the soft but upbeat melody of the live performance, and the clinks of beer mugs and cocktail glasses. There was an empty seat at the counter, so Helen made her way over there. The girl in the seat next to hers spared her a glance, before shrugging her leather jacket tighter on herself and taking another swig at her beer. 

Two drinks in, and Helen had enough liquid courage and pent up boredom to turn towards that leather jacket girl. 

“Drowning your sorrows?” Helen asked. The girl looked at her, head tilted and eyes squinted as if assessing Helen thoroughly.

“Since you asked, are you prepared to hear the full, long answer?” The girl finally replied. Helen nodded, glad that the noise of the bar died down a little. The girl began her story about her parents, how she loved them so and thought the world of them. How heartbroken she was when they found out she was a lesbian and they didn’t want her as a daughter anymore. She had moved to this town since then, seeking refuge in the warmth of its people and the presence of her best friends. 

Helen listened quietly, her heart squeezing up at the thought of someone having to go through all that hurt. Her mind went to her own family and moving away from them meant that they would never have to find out that Helen liked girls too. 

The girl suddenly stopped talking, and the tears that were welling up in her eyes fell. Without a word, Helen took her into her arms, wrapping her up in an embrace that she hoped conveyed as much love and support as she intended. 

“I’m sorry for being such a wreck.” The girl pulled away from the hug after a while, wiping her tears away with the sleeves of the jumper underneath her jacket. “I just wished there was another way to get them to accept me again. Besides having to leave all of this behind.”

“What do you mean?” Helen murmured.

“They called me. Said a bunch of things about how every girl needs a man.” She sighed. “But most importantly, they are willing to speak to me again, as long as I move back to the city with them and try being with guys, I guess. And to be honest, I’m willing to do that.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her ears, looking up and giving Helen a smile that didn’t quite make it to her eyes. 

Helen felt tears in her own eyes when she said that. A girl who craved her parents’ love and acceptance so much she’s willing to deny a huge part of herself for it. 

“They gave me three more months and… I will miss this place so much. My best friends, the flower shop…” Helen’s head snapped up at that. 

“The flower shop near the tailors’?” The girl also looked up, confused by Helen’s tone. She nodded.

“Do you know the owner Aline, then?” 

There was a moment that hung between them that felt like a fog clearing. Realisation hit both of them at the same time, their eyes lighting up. 

Helen let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, when she realised that was the personal matter Aline was seeing to, and she was mostly alright. Almost immediately, they fell into an easy conversation that flowed with the ease and familiarity of an old friendship. It wasn’t until Helen caught sight of the time on her phone did she notice just how much time had passed. 

\-------------------

The bakery doors swung open and the next thing she knew there was a bouquet of blue roses in under her nose. She felt her mood turn a bright warm shade of yellow, and accepted the flowers in Aline’s hands. 

Aline had been coming to the bakery every day before lunch, deciding to personally deliver the fresh florals and collect her plate of brownies, or croissants, or whatever Helen felt like she should try that day. And every night, after locking the glass doors on the bakery, Helen would wait outside the flower shop with two steaming cups of green tea lattes, and the two would sip their drinks, watching the sun set on the horizon. 

The weekend that Alec and Magnus were vacationing in Maldives, Naf and Ayu hung out in the flower shop, giving every plant in the shop a new name. They squealed in glee when Helen came through the entrance, apron still on and brown bags of goodies in hand. Aline and Helen closed their shops early that day, opting instead to pack some food, bring some coffee and drove the kids to the seaside. 

They sat on the sand, barefeet, their hair flying in the wind. The salty fragrance of the sea breeze went perfectly well with their coffees, and Helen looked over to see Aline with her eyes closed, mouth turned up in a gentle smile. The smile on Aline’s face looked so serene, and there wasn’t a single crease of a frown, not a single hint of sadness on her features. Helen decided that she looked the most beautiful in this way, happy, untroubled and relaxed, and Helen just couldn’t take her eyes off of her smile. 

The kids ran from sand to sea, sea to sand, building sandcastles then tearing them down. 

“I’ve always dreamt of having this someday.” Aline murmured, watching the kids playing happily. “But I’ve also known that compromises have to be made. Perhaps it’s for the best.” 

Helen hated how she could see the weight set itself back on Aline’s shoulders. 

“Don’t you think maybe, you could still have this?” Helen cleared her throat. “Maybe choose the life that you actually want to lead.” 

“Perhaps if I ever find a Magnus to my Alec, sure. But I don’t have anything or anyone.” Aline paused, turning to look at Helen. “A reason to stay. A reason good enough to give up having my parents back in my life. They mean too much to me.”

Helen bit her lip, trying not to let on just how much that stung. In the short time that they’ve met, Aline somehow became so familiar, a piece of her life that made her feel whole. Even before meeting in the bar that night, her little notes and bouquets have already felt like a constant she could always look forward to. Thinking of new things to bake for Aline to try was the thing she would immediately get to doing the second she’s done with the daily batch of bread and cake. Suddenly, Helen was overwhelmed with the idea that this was never going to last. Aline will be moving back to the city in a matter of weeks, back to her parents. 

“Helen? Are you okay?” Aline’s voice brought her back to herself.

“Yeah I just.... Think it’s really sad that you have to leave this all behind.” Helen paused, taking Aline’s hand in hers. “Leave a huge part of you behind.” 

Aline swallowed the lump in her throat, the tears in her eyes falling. She looked down at their joined hands on the sand, taking a long, shaky breath.

“I made up my mind about it. I will miss everything but I will get over it.”

\---------------

Aline walked away from the check-in counter, luggage dragging behind her and her heart feeling the most heavy it had ever felt. She went to where Isabel, Magnus, Alec, Ayu and Nafiz were waiting, hoping that somehow she would spot an extra familiar face amongst the crowd of them. Aline respected that Helen didn’t want to send her off, remembering that Helen once told her how much she hated goodbyes. She had held off checking in her luggage until the very last moment, wandering the airport with the others, foolishly wishing that Helen would somehow appear. 

Aline knew she would be leaving a piece of herself in this town, in its people and everything they gave her, and especially in the people that was standing around her in that moment. She took each of them in her arms for a hug. Ayu and Nafiz were clinging onto each of her legs, tears streaming down their faces as they begged her not to leave. Alec and Magnus could only hold back their own tears and pry their children away from her, before Aline was turning around for one last wave and walking towards the departure gates.

“Aline!” She stopped in her tracks. When she spun around, she sees a shock of blonde hair making its way through the crowd at the departure hall, and soon enough Helen emerges, face wet from crying but a determined look set in her eyes. 

Helen marched towards her, grabbing the lapels of her leather jacket, and crashing her lips against hers. The shock dissolved into relief, and Aline kissed back just as fiercely, luggage forgotten as her hands reached up to take Helen’s face in hers. In the moment that Helen kissed her, she could feel the knot in her chest that has been there ever since that call from her parents three months ago unknot itself. She thought she would feel the same shame that she had always felt about her love for the same gender, but this felt so right. Helen felt so right. They pulled away from the kiss, Helen’s face still resting in Aline’s gentle hold, and Aline knew, Helen was home. 

“You wanted a reason to stay.” Helen whispered to her. “Let me be it.”

Their lips met each others’ again, and that was all the answer Aline needed to give.


End file.
